Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Smash Bros. Direct 2.8.14 Impressions 

Like Greninja, yesterday's Smash Bros.-exclusive Direct made a huge splash. (and this time it was super effective) Here's the most notable highlights: 


"Yippie-Ki-yay motherfu-"  

New and Improved: Holy flying spaghetti in the sky where do I even begin. To think we were calling Brawl the best game of all time 6 years - we're now getting a Smash Bros. with the craziest set of items ever imagined, revamped fighters, an approved on-line mode, and Mega-bleeping-nostalgic-megabuster-Final-Smash-Man. From Kid Icarus' new Three Sacred Treasures Final Smash that actually doesn't suck, to Charizard's new speedy moveset, to Zelda's new Dark Nut move Smash Bros.' metagame is definitely changing. Now if they can just refrain from giving all the Star Fox fighters Landmasters. 

The Launch Window: Viewers were met with a one-two punch during the beginning of the Direct when Sakurai announced release information for both games. While we didn't get exact release dates, the 3DS/Wii-U versions of the game got a summer and winter launch window this year respectively. It's exciting to think we'll be able to play the 3DS version before fall, though it's rather unfortunate and odd that the Wii U version has to be delayed until winter, especially this being the system's most troubling year. Yet again, we'll have to wait until E3 to see what the heck Nintendo is going to do this year. 

Greninja: If anyone deserves the title of "troll of the year", it's the guy who scared everyone into believing Palutena was just a trophy only to reveal it to be Pseudo-Palutena. Even after the show appeared to be over the shenanigans didn't end there: what looked like Mewtwo charging up a Shadowball was revealed to be a different Pokemon entirely: Greninja. GRENINJA. Not saying I'm disappointed (because Greninja looks amazing), I'm just saying Sakurai is the most genius S.O.B of the history of the universe.  


Smash Run: Remember that weird mysterious pic of a stage Sakurai posted on MiiVerse that had no real explanation? Well, turns out it wasn't from Rayman Legends nor was it an adventure mode like everyone thought it would be. It's a Kirby City-Trial-esk new mode called Smash run in which players collect stat boosting collectibles before personally duking it out one-on-one. Pretty cool stuff. Now let's see what the Wii U version has in store. 

Yoshi!: Because the fanbase wouldn't shut the hell up about Yoshi's absence from the SSB4 roster - as if Sakurai would ditch one of the original SSB characters out of the SSB4 games, I mean come on people use your stupid head - Yoshi was revealed in the Direct. It doesn't appear that his moveset has been altered, but damn does his color palette for these games look shiny.  


"You know...for people who hate fun!" 

Final Destination...EVERYWHERE: Why in the heck is Sakurai kissing the butts of the whiny competitive Smash fanbase? Granted, maybe separating the on-line community would be good in the long-run, but does every stage need a Final Destination form? Really?? I'm surprised those stages don't force everyone to play as Fox with items off. 

Sheik and Zero Suit Samus as separate characters: To think Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale having both Cole and 'Evil' Cole in the same roster was bad game design - Nintendo had to go and make Sheik and Zero Suit Samus separate characters. (And what the heck is up with Zero Suit Samus' rocket-powered boots looking like high-heels? How can she even fight in those things???) This is a lazy way to fill up a roster, and I don't care if it means Samus' Final Smash won't trigger her Zero Suit transformation - can't we just switch between forms like Wii Fit Trainer? 

OVERALL: 4.5/5 

The Smash Bros. Direct produced a lot of reactions, the most common three being: "Uhh...","Uhh???", and "Uhh?!?!!!" To say the wait for these games would be excruciating is an understatement. Whether Sakurai was being a troll or a substituting Pokemon throughout the Direct - he nonetheless got us all hyped for the next big game(s) in the Smash Bros. series.

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