Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My 5 Wishes for the Next Smash Bros.

We're just a month away (or sooner) until the reveal of the fourth installment for Super Smash Bros. While I'm not one to promote hype (says the guy who already wrote two "Top 5 Wishes" blogs) I think it's a perfect time than any to share my optimism for the next Smash Bros. Like...

5. A More Innovative Stage Builder (Or none at all)

Chances are, after you played versus mode against four Lv.1 Jigglypuffs for 200 hours straight, you probably decided to check out Brawl's Stage builder mode expecting a robust set of features, because dude, this is the best game ever made- with the lamest Stage Builder ever made. Lack of any nostalgic set pieces aside (where the heck is my Chozo set piece, dammit?!) the Stage Builder offers a ho-hum assortment of platforms, while offering three stage sizes where if you pick small, for example, you can't use the medium level sized pieces even though they would fit, and freakin' vice-versa. Instead of being able to recreate the classic Hyrule Castle Stage, we're given pieces to allow douchebags to make "Spike Stage", guaranteed to ruin every friendship every time it's randomly select in Versus Mode. Either give us better variety of pieces/scenery or remove the Stage Builder entirely- it's taking up room for more playable characters. Speaking of which...

4. More 1st Party Characters/Assist Trophies  

Yes, Internet, you're welcome. 
As much I like having guest characters like Snake and Sonic appear in Smash Bros., there needs to be more love for the 1st party troopers, because this is Super Nintendo Bros. after all. To name a few I personally would love see make it in: Prince Fluff (Kirby's Epic Yarn), Ridley (Super Metroid), Baba (F-Zero GX), Lady Palutena (Kid Icaurs: Uprising), Waluigi (Mario Party), Shulk (Xenoblade), Zoroark (Pokemon Black/White), Bowser Jr. (Mario Sunshine), Mii's (Misc.); and as for Assist trophies: Cuccos (LoZ) and Dr. Kawashima (Brain Age- NINTENDO CHOP!) would make hilarious items. With Namco Bandai in development, there's a big chance we'll be seeing Pac-Man, Tekken, and SoulCalibur characters in the melting pot as well, so we'll get a good share of 3rd party characters too. That said, Mega Man would be an awesome guest character...as long as he's not a Samus clone. And that's another thing... 
3. No Clone Characters/Identical Smash Attacks 

It's as if whenever a fighting game is being made, someone in mid-development throws his arms up and shouted "F*** it, let's just give them all Landmasters." The lazy palette-swap strategy has been around since the dawn of gaming, and there's far worse examples than Smash Bros. (see "Mortal Kombat 2 Character List") but it doesn't make it any less worse. Granted, there are distinct differences in weight comparing Link and Toon Link; Fox is a lot faster than Falco, etc., which is okay, fine, but why give them the exact same Final Smash? Ness doesn't necessarily have a different ultimate attack than Lucas, but at least reverse the direction of his PK Thunder or something. Toon Link should be summoning a wind hurricane; giving him the same Final Smash attack as normal Link is redundant. I fear clones the worst with Namco Bandai at the helm, but hopefully they'll follow SoulCalibur's direction and eliminate clones altogether (Don't increase Peach's bra size though, there's children who play this). I will cherish the day when all characters are balanced so on-line doesn't feel like Attack of the Clones. That is, however, if on-line is even usable...

2. Better On-Line Play For Pete's Sake 

No, DK, I want better. 
Enough said. 
1. Physical Trophy DLC  

Let's get one thing out of the way: Skylanders was an expensive money vacuum cleaner toy gimmick to unlock in-game material that was already on-disc. Why would I want this in SSB4? Because Nintendo does DLC the right way, and this would prolong game content to at least 3 years (albeit price-y). Also, you must be joking with that smirk, because you don't even know how awesome this will be for the SSB faithful. Disappointed that Nightmare isn't playable? Just wait for the bundle pack to be released and you'll get not only Nightmare, but a Stage pack, bonus story chapter, AND you get to keep a physical figurine you can set next to your moniter! It's a bit of an optimistic dream, but if they can do it with Pokemon Rumble U, then why stop there?  And how would this not be the biggest selling game of all time?

 This is what your room would look like. (Though you might want to invest in lighting first, Count Dracula)

But let's think beyond just Namco Bandai/Nintendo licenses: think how pants soiling awesome this would be if gaming giants like Konami, Capcom, Square Enix, etc. joined in group support with their character trophies. My wallet aches just thinking of these implications. Scorpian versus Captian Falcon? Hell, yes. If this is the future for Smash Bros., I'm going to be on life support for all the blood I'll be donating just to collect em' all. But I'll be fine either way, because I'm going to be clocking in over 600 hours beating up four Lv.1 Jigglypuffs anyway.



  1. Nice list. I think #5 would be #1 on my list believe it or not. I really hope they implement something like this.

    Okay-- back to playing Online Checkers. I can't think of the next smash bros game until it's released or I'll get too excited.

  2. I agrre with 2,3, and 5. And will know what to expect at this years E3 since nintendo did say they were going to show their first SSBU trailer. we'll finally get a name and possible characters.

  3. Everything is very open with a very clear explanation of the issues. It was truly informative. Your website is very useful. Thanks for sharing!