Friday, February 12, 2010

Take a Break! - Wii Disc Channels

Written by pikaby

Screw the serious blogs today. Time to have some fun *turns on Wii* there's nothing on the Wii. I'll stick some discs in it then...Time for some entertainment. I'll review the Disc Channel openings I see for lulz.
WarioWare: Smooth Moves

It's-a-Wii, Waaarrriiiooo!! Wario's double pun of both Mario's famous 'It's-a-me!' and the Wii itself adds an extra point to an otherwise bland Disc Channel movie. No music either. Just Wario's punchy voice.
Score: ***

Super Mario Galaxy

Creepy hyperactive Mario voice is creepy. The text bursts out at your face as soon as Mario yells 'GALAXIIIIEEE!', which makes it super effective! But not really good enough.
Score: ***


Reminder to 3rd party developers: Making a Disc Channel movie with just a static title and static pictures of your star character does not make you win. But of course, that doesn't matter if the game's good. But I'm not here to review games, am I?
Score: *

I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE SHOT OF THIS GAME'S DISC CHANNEL SO EXCUSE ME FOR NOT RETAKING THE PICTURE *deep breath* Anyway if you have the game you know Elebits' Disc Channel is a masterpiece. Bouncy music that isn't ripped from the game's track library, and lovely scenes of Elebits walking around a cartoon-like landscape. They should totally make an Elebits platformer in this style.
Score: *****

The Conduit

Another lovely piece with the rotating......whatever it is spinning and locking itself in place, all the while moving closer to you, and then the title appears. Very nice. Too bad the rest of the game isn't.
Score: *****

Geometry Wars: Galaxies

Another example of a sloppy effort to make a Disc Channel opening. Just this screen. No animation. Nothing. But it's a low-budget title, so I'll forgive it this time. Still doesn't prevent it from scoring a 1 though.
Score: *

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

The in-game opening is of course, better than this one. I could make this opening with some Prime 3 music and Microsoft Power Point. The letters fly in just like a slideshow made from said office software.
Score: **

Wii Music

 Very pretty, and great music! (Music? This game IS music, so duh.). It could be a few seconds longer though.
Score: ****


Another simple one, with just this screen, a scrolling white line(note to self: ignore things that are too insignificant) , and Jack growling 'Maaaadwoooorld....'. But unlike some games, this is one of the times where you just don't need a long opening with music and stuff.
Score: ****

New Super Mario Bros. Wii

If Mario were to say the word Wii 100 times, 101 times would be turning it into a long, exaggerated, 'WHEEEE-HEEEEE!!!'. It's alright, but it gets annoying after a few times.(Mario Kart Wii had the same thing). The opening itself is good enough, but not outstanding. Just like the game.
Score: ***

Guess which game I played after seeing all 10 openings?

No More Heroes 2. Because I'm cool.



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