N5S 2012 Reflections - What games Influenced us the most.

In our quest to savor every Nintendo-themed morsel that comes our way and anticipate whatever tasty delicacy or nasty dish we encounter in the near future, we take a quick stop and reflect back on what it was like the previous year in gaming. 2012 has come and gone and the plates are clean, and now it's time to compliment the chef. Did we enjoy the meal? Are we still hungry? This is what the good folks at Nintendo-5-Star, including me, had to say about 2012 (Note: new submissions may be added eventually):

CRAZ1Ah     
  Most influential game:
Xenoblade Chronicles (it was released for NA in 2012 so I guess that still counts?)

The single player MMORPG game. Seriously, although this is a single player game it just feels so much like an MMORPG, with a gigantic not to mention BEAUTIFUL world, hundreds of quests and unlocking/upgrading Arts for all of the characters.

Everything about this game is spectacular from the story down to the voice acting. Also, the graphics and scenery in this game will make Zelda and Monster Hunter developers cry. Start crying suckers. 

pikaby 

Okay let's see if I can make this short....2012 was an epic year for gaming, with so many killer apps being released for Nintendo's new portable console, the 3DS, and also the release of its new home console, Wii U, towards the end of the year. That would have been some really great gaming moments.....except I own neither of them. So where am I then? Still stuck with good ol' DSi and my precious Wii, whose lineups have been getting thinner than the hairline of a 50 year old man. That's not to say there weren't any high notes for the two legacy systems though; both consoles have had their swansongs this year.

For DS, the most influential game I played came in September; the launch of Pokemon Black 2/White 2 in English. Having played the JP version some time back I knew what to expect, but for me, traveling through Unova never got old, training the same Pokemon from my roster of Gen 5 favorites never got old (I love you Reuniclus) and even better, reconciling with some Pokemon which I liked but unexpectedly found them rather useful now (Huge Power Jolly Azumarill with Ice Punch, Aqua Tail and Superpower). Despite how much I played the sidequests never seemed to end. There's just so much to do whether you're into battling (Treehollow, Subway, PWT) or not (Link Avenue, Musicals, Pokestar Studios). Pokemon has always helped me get through a boring afternoon and keep me occupied even in the most stressful of times, and I'm happy to say this was the best of the bunch in a year where there really was nothing else on DS. 

For Wii, putting aside my obvious obsession with Taiko no Tatsujin and rhythm games in general, the game to beat was Xenoblade Chronicles. Alright so where do I start raving about this game....The graphics? So-so when you're up close looking at the textures, but taking in the grand picture from up high or far away is amazing, with scenery you never even knew existed. And the realization that the water and mountains you saw in the background can actually be traveled to...woah. The soundtrack? Epic and matching the huge scale of the overworld. The story? Evolves so many times until Shulk reaches a sort of ultimate focus, and so much character development going on with the 7 possible party members, though the voice acting still needs some work. Very absorbing. The gameplay? You'll be easily spending more than 100 hours on this even on the first playthrough. With so many sidequests to complete and relationships to develop, it almost feels like a world instead of being, you know, a country or something. Xenoblade does everything so huge in scale than sometimes you just step back and gape admirably at the overwhelming things you can do. And the elite monsters (sub-bosses in the game) are fun to take down and have really fun names too. Simple as the battle system is, it eschews so much of the traditional JRPG stuff (no random encounters, skip travel, realtime battle system) that it becomes something entirely of its own. Xenoblade has kept me occupied alongside Kirby's Dream Collection and my vast collection of Taiko no Tatsujin (oops) throughout the year, and stands as one of the best.

Yes, I know, there's a whole bunch of other great games on other consoles, some of which I really admire and want to try out (Borderlands 2, XCOM Enemy Unknown, Hotline Miami, Journey to name a few.....no, screw you Halo/Call of Duty), and to be honest makes me regret a little for limiting myself to only Nintendo consoles. But that doesn't mean my year has been any less fun despite only being able to play two consoles and not upgrading to the newest ones. I thank Nintendo for supporting their old consoles to the very end for people like me.   

EggBeatr8 

If I could define 2012 in one word it would be 'WHOA'. It sounds very vague, I know, but it's the only way to express what I feel to be the most insane roller-coaster of a gaming year I've experienced yet. Where do I begin? You tell me! But let's start with Operation Rainfall: these guys need a freakin' medal for forming such a large group of gamers and succeeding at convincing Nintendo to bring (at least) two of the three JRPGs they've been previously reluctant to release stateside. The first of which, and the game I claim to be the best JRPG ever made (and what my fellow admins have described in grand detail above) is Xenoblade Chronicles. I could go on for five paragraphs of how this game added 100+ hours of amazing exploration and gameplay that I haven't experienced in, well, I never experienced anything like this game to be able to compare it to anything else- but I already exhausted a review, and well, my fine admins have already covered it. The second JRPG was The Last Story, the most visually appealing Wii game I have ever played/seen since the system's upbringing. Hironobu Sakaguchi couldn't have developed a better game after he retired from Squaresoft, and his partnership with long-time Final Fantasy composer Nobuo Uematsu created some of the most ear pleasing music I've ever heard in a video game (search Youtube for "Toberu Mono" and you won't be sorry), not to mention that the voice overs are fantastic. Thankfully, the work on making the game visually appealing isn't distracted by a boring battle design, for the the gameplay is satisfying and tight, and demands a well thought out strategy and quick trigger finger- this is definitely not your average stand-in-one-place-and-attack JRPG we're used to. Both Xenoblade Chronicles and The Last Story are a huge step in the right direction for JRPGs, and it's shameful on Nintendo's part for holding these amazing titles from us for a whole year. Hopefully the sales of these games encourages more localizations in the future, because I can't imagine a gaming world without these titles. 

 
If there was ever a highlighted year for the 3DS, 2012 was THE. YEAR. For the sake of brevity, I'll try to keep a brief summary for every 3DS game I played, but it won't be easy. Kid Icarus: Uprising was definitely the best game of the year for the handheld system, there is just no way I can give credit to any other game. Keeping the well written, and sometimes laugh-out-loud hilarious, storyline going on the bottom while you fight baddies on the top screen keeps things flowing perfectly- so perfectly, it almost seems alien, but more like the lovable ALF you want to keep in your house just to see what he does next and not a facehugging Xenomorph who's trying to breed with you. The land battles are clumsy at first, but that's the only complaint I have for the best 3DS game I've played yet. I can't think of any other character who can best that comeback. Other worthy mentions include the extremely addictive Threatrhythm Final Fantasy, which is unlike any rhythm game I played before; Adventure Time: "Hey Ice King, Why Did You Steal Our Garbage?!" a Zelda 2 inspired platformer with both clever show cameos and nostalgic video game references scattered throughout made for a really fun game; Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance, which is absolutely the best in the series thus far if you can look past the confoundedly confusing plotline; and then we have great eShop titles like Colors! 3-D, and a bevy of previously unreleased Virtual Console titles like Mole Mania and Castlevania Adventure. Pokemon Black/White 2, the final hoo-rah for the DS, was just as unexpected as this year's X/Y announcement and proves that the Pokemon series isn't as predictable as previously assumed. That was just scratching the surface of games the handheld received last year, and that's not to mention the games we'll anticipate in 2013 including Brain Age: Concentration, Fire Emblem: Awakening, the unannounced Monolith soft game, and Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon to name a few. Not bad for a system that was 'DOOOOOOMED' a few years ago.

It was also a great year for Mario fans too, with three Mario games released in one year. Love or hate the 'New' Super Mario Bros. games, you got to give Nintendo for at least trying to differentiate between titles, though I agree that it's time for Nintendo to work on different IPs for 2013, because there's only so much 'New' I can take.  

I only briefly tried out the Wii U in a Best Buy store demo, but I'm certainly convinced that it's a bright future for gaming. The response of the game pad to the TV was astounding, and both screens have a perfect resolution frame rate and texture. The gamepad also feels pretty comfortable despite looking like a paper weight. While I won't be getting a Wii U this year, when I do obtain one Rayman Legends and ZombiU will be at the top of my want list. But other than that, my hype is pretty low. Nintendo's E3 conference last year only showed games we'd be expecting until Q2 this year, but nothing much after that. It makes me both concerned about their future and curious to see what they're planning for this year's E3.  

While 2012 didn't give us everything we wanted: TWEWY sequel ended up being a remake of the first game for the iPhone, the Tokyo Game Show teased games we'd never get to play, Paper Mario: Sticker Star could've been better, Nintendo Power collapsed, and Pokemon Snap 2 was unfairly debunked for no good reason - but at least we got something out of it. Who knows what else this year will bring? Will it be worth the wait? Maybe it will be something we never expected? If 2013 can best what 2012 already accomplished I have only one word to say: WHOA.

N5S 2012 Reflections - What games Influenced us the most.

5 Dumbest Things Gamers Do on the Internet

Gamers are known for a lot of things, mainly complaining a lot. At times I can actually agree with a well written rant about frivolous DLC, or how bad Kinect Star Wars is, because those kinds of things are plaguing the game industry, in one way or another. But sometimes, there appears a biased comment that grows like a contagious cancer on Chuck Norris steroids, devoid of all reason or logic that’s only meaning is to ensnare others into believing that it’s offending their very right to game. I’m talking about ridiculous bullsh*t like… 


5. Complain about Visual Gimmicks. 

Visuals are an important part of a video game. On one hand, it really doesn’t dramatically change gameplay, but on the other hand no one would want to play a modern game as a 64-bit Bubsy mutant. For me, it’s the cherry on top, and even if it’s not there I wouldn’t mind looking at an ugly game if the controls and gameplay were perfect. Though I might make a slight exception for Sin and Punishment 2’s macabre looking demon children.
 

GAH!

But it isn’t graphics that gamers complain about the most, it’s the gimmicks like lighting, clothes ’chipping’, and other little things that make up a game. I can’t blame them for wanting good lighting in a horror game or perfect visuals in a cut scene, but what really gets under my skin is when practically everyone goes into rage mode over some stupid insignificant imagery. Like when Alan Wake players went apes*** complaining over the game’s visuals not being up to par when you zoom in 300x times.

You see it all the time without even realizing it. There’s always a “grey games are immature and gory” and “colorful games are gay” argument going on somewhere in the internet, and these people are proud of being arrogant over supposedly opposing art styles without even playing a game in that art style in their lives to even compare. It’s totally okay to like Pokemon over Call of Duty, but to go out and say every X game is better than their Y games just because of the art style, you are no better than they are. I played both Mario Kart DS and Resident Evil 4, and to me they’re completely different but equally amazing games in their own way. No where in my mind was I criticizing them for their looks, because I was too busy shot gunning zombies in the head or ‘snaking’ down the track to care. That’s what we should do; shut up and enjoy the game for what it is. Yet whenever a new Zelda is announced the first reaction is always to start an argument over “THIS ZELDA LOOKS GAY!” “SHUT UP YOU COD PLAYING @#$%!” What about gameplay? Will the controls be authentic and precise? What’s Zelda’s role in this game? There’s so much more to talk about, why are we limiting ourselves just on the visual factor alone?

And this is what game developers have to deal with. This is why Konami is working hard to make boobs in Dead or Alive 5 hyper realistic as well as see-through bras, because that’s what we want. The only thing we know about Senran Kugura Burst is giant busty ninja breasts, yet people want it localized without even considering, you know, plot line, gameplay or any other factor that makes us crave Japan games in the first place. If I wanted to be a pervert I could, oh maybe go on perv-y sites (disclaimer: I don’t) and see it for free, but why pay for it? I know a majority of gamers are guys, but come on now, use your heads! You play games with your thumbs, not your pants! 

The entire plot of this game.

But probably the worst, and I mean the worst, visual gimmick complaint is hands down the one spawned by Sonic fan boys outcry to Sonic’s Green Eyes in Sonic 4: Episode 1. And note that Sonic had Green Eyes long before this game, but as soon as SEGA uttered the word “Retro” and showed clips of Sonic running, green eyes and all, it created such a s***storm of complaints you’d think “Green” was a code word to set off insanity in their brains.

”Green Hill Zone? GREEN?! GREEN EYES?!?!?! RRRRAAAAGGGHH!!!!!”

Look, I know visuals are important to you, but they’re only gimmicks. You’re making people wait longer for a crappier game just to arouse your perverted curious 13 year-old brain. You’re complaining about things you cannot change, but won’t change your thoughts once the final product is done. Sonic has green eyes BUT HE’S STILL SONIC. They’re not changing your Mass Effect into Mass Chicken Attack: Plus 30 more Family Games, or changing Mario Kart into Mortal Kartbat, so why complain? 


4. Go Into Douche Mode Whenever Someone Performs a Speed Run. 

You know when you’re awesome at playing a video game when you can speed run through World 5-1, collect every single power-up on the way, and give the middle finger to the Hammer Bros like an invincible mid-air ninja boss. It takes great skill to pull off awesomeness, and no matter who says what, you’re still the speed run ninja master. 

"You a-can a-suck it!"

So what do expert speed runners get for their hard work? A long list of name calling of course.

Check out the hateful comments for this 6 hour speed run for Majora’s Mask. Notice how amongst every sane comment there’s at least one bad comment telling him to “play the f***ing game like a regular person”. I know there’s plenty of awful people on the internet, but this is in no way a reason to go into full on douche bag mode and start flailing blackmail. What’s worse, their reasons behind being douche-y make absolutely no sense. The common slander towards speed runners, “you have no life”, is so hilariously hypocritical in this situation that the irony from reading that comment went straight through my brain into my lower intestines, which echoed a consecutive number of farts that resembled the tune to “Loser” played backwards. If these douchebags had a forum, you could smell the bulls**t through your moniter’s speakers every time someone posted their URL. They claim that the speed runner has no life, yet they will gladly go thread to thread, like a flamboyantly gay Honey Nut Cheerios bee, and waist their own time telling others, who’ve used that same time to perfect something, that they’re wasting their lives. Can you say paradox?

"Ah, another great day to waste my life on the internet telling how bad people are!"

Another biased comment that makes absolutely no sense is “when you speed run through a game, you‘re not having fun!”. They’re literally saying that it’s perfectly A-OK to play a game for 500+ hours, but as soon as you speed run it YOU’VE KILLED THE FUN!!! Wow, that’s like saying NASCAR racers aren’t having fun because they’re not on the road with all of us in traffic going 5 mph. Who says speed running isn’t fun? Have you tried it? It takes skill and quick reflexes, and it takes patience. Why does everyone have to play the same game the same way? If we’re not playing the game wrong then what you bitching about? And who says using glitches or short-cuts is in anyway “mistreating” the game? Not only do you have to perform them right in order to bypass portions of the game, but finding those Easter eggs was a huge task to begin with. Speed runs are supposed to be as quick as possible, so why not use what the game offers, directly or indirectly? 

So stop acting jealous, and give our gaming vets a pat on the back. They’ve deserved it.


3. Get Hyped Over Everything. 

It happened just this last E3: I was just sitting in the chair, waiting for Spike TV to broadcast the Nintendo Conference Live. I was stoked; maybe they’ll announce a Four Swords, an Elite Beat Agents sequel, or -gasp- a new IP HYPE HYPE HYPE!! Well, the conference came and gone, and I didn’t get what I want. But I wasn’t totally disappointed; what Nintendo had to show was pretty nice, and a couple years down the road I’d be playing those games.

But seriously, Reggie, where’s my Four Swords game?

But my wish list of predictions was tame compared to the internet’s Tasmanian Devil hype train of requests: F-ZERO, POKEMON RUBY/SAPPHIRE REMAKES, SMASH BROTHERS 4, NEW ZELDA, MARIO KART WII U, AND EARTHBOUND 4, EARTHBOUND 4, EARTHBOUND 4!!!!!! Really, you expected all that and Earthbound 4? Granted, everyone is entitled to voice their own predictions before the show, but let’s be logical here, Earthbound??? Followed by a 4???????? That’s like saying the next Apple unveiling will be an Ipad that’s so dramatically different from the previous iteration that the mere sight of it will melt your face off from the sheer awesomeness of it’s sleek new 0.00004” design, and also Jesus and Steve Jobs will descend from Heaven riding Unicorns giving away these bug and glitch-free Ipads to everyone who watched the conference, and there will be world peace and everyone will be happy, the end. 

“And on the third day Steve Jobs made everyone happy or something.” - SEGA Genesis, 42:007. Source via Wikipedia.

 
I’m not saying hype is bad in itself. It’s when we expect so much from something to the point where we turn a little speculation into rumor into fact is what is truly terrible. It gets to the point that you have to stop in awe at how everyone reacts so ludicrously whenever something is announced. Whenever a new Nintendo Direct is around the corner, and no matter what Nintendo tells us, the same reaction is always F-ZERO, POKEMON RUBY/SAPPHIRE REMAKES, SMA- you get the point.
 
But please, for the sake of not embarrassing or disappointing yourself, expect less. The less you expect, the more surprised you’ll be when they actually announce something you’ve been dying to see. Maybe, it could be Earthbound 4? (No, not really) 


2. Nerd Rage Whenever a Game is Ported or Remade. 

Bayonetta 2. A game that created such a pissed off hate storm of swirling sh*t when it was announced for the Wii U, you’d think that after it subsided you’d see naught but lifeless bodies of gamers who’s nerd rage caused widespread internal heart attacks.

This leg shot alone killed 50,000 people.

But they deserve to be mad, right? Nobody wants to buy a whole new system just for one game (I’m looking at you especially, Kingdom Hearts). It’s just a ploy from Nintendo to get the ‘hardcore’ gamers to buy their console - game companies just want to rip you off as hard as they can.
 
But it wasn’t that way. Platinum Games never intended of making a sequel, in fact they were going to dump it altogether when Captain Nintendo swooped in to take publishing control. It’s the only reason why we’re getting a sequel in the first place. Yet the complaints from gamers was madness, and no one was honest enough to admit that pointless bashing towards Nintendo’s ears was not going to solve anything. Not only did they bash Nintendo, but they bashed the Wii U, which wasn’t even released at this point, simply saying “I don’t play awesome games on Baby Consoles!” because apparently people like being labeled as douche bag Xbot stereotypes.

This guy.

This bashing of ports has been going on for quite a long time. When Mass Effect 3 was first rumored, and I said rumored, for Wii U, the prior fans of the series would spam the news boards with cries of sour 5 year-old hatred. When Ocarina of Time was announced, people put on their douche monocle, sneered up their noses, and said “Well WE played this game before”. Nintendo gamers are no different: whenever a game like DeBlob or No More Heroes appears on a different console, they act like the game has become poison and is unplayable now. Man, it really sucks having all your life’s stock in Okami for PS2 only to see it getting ported to a different console, doesn't it? What, you don’t own stocks for Okami? And that’s not how stocks work? Then what are doing with that monocle, sir, because you are no gentlemen.
 
Why is this a problem? What’s so bad about games getting ported? That’s a good thing! It not only gives others a chance to play them, but it also gives developers more money…to make more of the games you like! Take off those hipster glasses (the ones below your monocle), because Third Party exclusive sequels are terrible and your constant fanboy pouting isn’t helping developers make the right choice. If you feel that going into forum threads just to post a biased hateful rant in all caps and then leave is the most logical mature reaction to anything, you need to see a physiatrist. Preferably one that greets you at the door with his fist to your stupid face.  


1. Act Like Review Scores Are the Holy Gospel. 

 

Just last week, Metacritic gave Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 the score 86 out of 100. This has lead to many complaints from both sides, from the haters claiming it’s too high, to the CoD junkies whining it’s too low. No matter what score a game gets you can bet there will always be a flurry of complaints, and all of it from just one critic’s opinion and a decimal number.

Silly critic, this game is obviously a 71.2457.

“Skyward Sword got a 7.5 AAAAAAHHH!!!!” “6.5 is too LOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!” “This game does NOT deserve a 9.0 ARRGH!!!” Wow, gamers complaining about numbers!  How, just how, did we stoop this low is a question I can’t even begin to answer. What I do know is that it’s f***ing ridiculous. Not only is a game’s score overreacted, but it’s like only thing gamers are concerned about. When the Wii U reviews came in, the complaints weren’t why the game(s) got the score they did, but the scores themselves. As I said before, there’s some factors I don’t judge a game upon and this is one of them. “6.5 out of 10” or “4 out of 5” is such a vague way of describing a game, I’m blown away at how many gamers actually care.

But you do care, because it effects your own score. Wait, no it doesn’t: your score is your score, and their score is their score. Why is this a problem? What makes IGN’s opinions better than GameSpot’s? If the reviewer is honest to why he give the game the score that he did, than that’s that. They’re not going to cater to only you. You don’t go into a store and say “Well gee, this game got a 7.5 but this one got an 8.5. I guess the latter is automatically better”, because if you do, you’re basing your thoughts not from someone’s review, but from what number they gave it. I’m not saying you should never use the scoring system, but don’t make it your primary decision maker, because it doesn’t work that way.
 

One of these got a 3.7 and is filled with nitric acid.

Look, sometimes it’s perfectly fine to complain - when under control. But you’re giving gamers a bad rap. We really don’t need a stereotypical reputation along with your rant about how Call of Halo: Black Nukem 7 got ported to the Wii UU with a green eyed protagonist and unfairly got a score of 1.5 or something.  

5 Dumbest Things Gamers Do on the Internet

Bad Eggs - Color A Dinosaur

Welcome to Bad Eggs! We take one bad game from the dark annals of history (the dark path across from Wal-Mart), play the game despite our unnerving gag reflexes and post the results here with maybe some images to show of our harrowing journey. So sit back and put a clothes pin on, because it’s going to get real nasty in here.

Remember the good ol’ days of gaming where you’d ask your parents for Super Mario Bros. 3, and on Christmas morning you got some educational Super Math Bros. shovelware they picked up at Walgreens instead? Yes, I’m talking about those days. But you should be thanking your parents. At least you didn’t have to submit to the horrors of what could be the worst shovelware that Nintendo allowed the sacred gold seal of approval to be graced upon it’s cover ever: Color a Dinosaur.

The game is exactly like it says; you color dinosaurs. That’s it. They literally thought a coloring book on your TV would be a smash hit. But that’s not even the worst part. You have to see the game in motion to really grasp the insane mentality that these so called “game” developers had when creating this monstrosity.  

                       Virgin Games? Surely no one in history would think that was stereotypical.
 
 As soon as you push that power button, all hope for humanity is lost and replaced by the most ridiculous sounding names I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.  

                      With a name like “Jay Obernolte”, you know you’re getting quality.

And then we come to the Title Screen. Greeting us is the worst colored dinosaur in the universe, accompanied by the game’s title with what apparently appears to be pencils behind it….I think.

                                                             Those are not pencils.

At this point, my still 5 year-old brain sneered at this abnormality to man, picked it’s nose and ate it’s contents, and said with arrogant pride “I could do better than that!” We all could my fat, shorter version of myself. And just look at all our choices of dinosaurs to draw obscene genitals on: 
 

                                                               Gotta’ catch em’ all!

Let’s start with the Stegosaurus to begin our onslaught towards…coloring things or something. 

Um…I’m not a dinosuar expert, but don’t Stegosaur spikes normally lop side like this? 

                             ”No, no your artwork is totes fine. Have some more cocaine?”

But it’ll probably be better colored in. Let’s try the first color: 

                                                                         Artsy?

Wow, that’s…pretty? It’s totally fine, we can just switch back to white…

                                                   Pixel filling pastels, what is this sorcery?!

I’m not even freeze framing that. It’s literally what happens when you apply a new color. It takes the game a full three to five seconds for it to delete an old color and replacing it, instead of, you know, pasting over the previous color? I know this is made in 8-bit, but come on, what is this s***? And at least give us more colors to choose from other than orange, light blue, white, and…polka dots and stripes.

Speaking of which, this is what happens when you paste polka dots over polka dots: 

                                                                 MIND = BLOWN 

Holy s***, pasting polka dots over polka dots gives you polka dots shaped like a diamond! What style! It’s like an Easter egg just waiting to be discovered!  

But why stop now? There’s still a whooping five (FIVE!) unbelievably textured patterns to experiment with!
 

                                                                          Pictured: fun?

I guess it should be said now that pressing the Start button automatically takes you to the dinosaur select screen, so if you spent a good four minutes of your time painstakingly perfecting your polka dot diamonds or something, it’s best not to press that button. In fact, don’t press it at all; the game never saves your progress. That’s right kids, you can NEVER save your creations. Just have the TV on 24/7 instead if you want to share it with your family and “friends”. 

It might seem that we’ve covered all we could about Color a Dinosaur, but we’re not done yet! Yes, by pressing Select you’ll gain access to even more color options!

I lied, it just makes your dinosaur flash and blink for some reason.
 

                     If this wasn’t picked for Game of the Year in ’93 we failed as a human race.

But wait…what’s this?! If you press Select again you get:
 

         Also a message pops up saying “You’re Adopted!”, because at this point your childhood sucks.

Press Select and surprise, it starts blinking. Press it again and you get another one way trip to LCD world.
 

                                            Scales were added for a more emotional art piece.

After another set of obnoxious blinking, we come to the last set of “color palettes” inspired not by Lite Brite, but most likely more drugs. 

                              This whole game is literally a pre-paid DLC pack for marihuana.  

Okay, I’m now entirely convinced that the making of this game revolved around putting unfortunate named color blind people together in a room with a table containing computers, dinosaur coloring books, and cocaine, and then locking the door until they created a “video game” under half an hour. I imagine these people grew up with only five Crayola crayons, and to curse the world for their misfortunate they created this video game to ruin maybe one kid‘s birthday or something. I can’t think of any sane reason why this game even exists.

But enough about that, let’s just have fun finishing up our Stego pal! 

                                               Just as soon as the background gets done loading.

Attempting to color in the eyebrows or pupils seemed to do nothing even with the bold colors, but at least eye color shows up (kinda?). Now to add the seizure inducing final coats aaaaaaaaaaand you’ve just experienced the entire game in two minutes.   

                                               These aren’t tears of sorrow- these are tears of joy.

But think of the amazing art techniques you’ve learned  in that amount of time you can put into practice and perfect down the road! You could become an aspiring art student and pursue a sound career in dinosaur coloring street art! You’re ready for the big shot connect-the-dots and color-by-numbers my friend.
 
But…le Gasp! We just did only one out of the sixteen dinosaurs!!!! That’s ten more minutes of pure fun content!!!!!! 

Why, look at those unfortunate looking f***s! With Color a Dinosaur you can draw such extinct reptiles including the left footed Velociraptor:
 

                                                                              Maybe?

The buck toothed HumpbackIdontgiveaflyingcrapasuarus: 

                                                                   ”I hate all of you.”

The high on crack Iapproveofeverythingasuarus:
 

                                                                ”Waaaay cooool maaaaan.”

The also high on crack Dogondo: 

                                                                    This one likes smoke.

The post-crack addict Artistdrawsawfultailsondinosaurus:

                                                                 Is it’s face melting?

Pregnant JarJarBanksasuarus:
 

                                                     At this point, evolution just gave up.

The EverstaringeyesBarneyasaurass Rex: 

                                       At this point I think we can all agree to set it on fire.

And the Whateverthef***thisthingisasuarus:

                                                                             Ducky?

We sadly only covered nine of the frightful dinosaurs Color a Dinosaur has to offer. If you want to try them all out for yourself or maybe give it as a gift for one of your cousin’s birthday then….don’t, just don’t. Buy them a real dinosaur coloring book. Hell, buy him/her 50 dinosaur coloring books. You could go to a store and not find a worse deal than Color a Dinosaur. And for the love of Pete, get him/her some Crayola crayons and not what Color a Dinosaur offers as “colors“. Your cousin might’ve wanted a copy of Super Mario Bros. 3 back then and will probably toss your present aside at first glance, but remember, you’ve done a great deed for letting this game rot on store shelves. Maybe you should go thank your parents for buying you Bubsy: Close Encounters of the Fur Kind and Donkey Kong Jr. Math; because it could’ve been so, so much worse. 

Verdict: Color a Dinosaur not only fails to deliver any form of stimulating coloring book simulation, but also prohibits drawing of obscene genitals in any form or size. Bottom Tier Awful.

What I’d rate it then: -3.5/10

DISCLAIMER: N5S does not in any way glorify dinosaurs taking drugs.

Bad Eggs - Color A Dinosaur

Liberation Maiden Review

Review by EggBeatr8

Title: Liberation Maiden 
Developer: Grasshopper Manufacture
Platform: 3DSWare
Bottom Line: An ambitious shooter with amazing production values, but leaves me wanting more.

 Dat...hair.

With a team like Grasshopper Manufacture helmed by renowned Suda 51, an assorted all-star collaboration of  top animators and composers, and a little promoting power from Level 5 of Professor Layton fame, it would seem Guild01 is the most ambitious 3DSWare project yet, consisting of four completely different games made by four talented developers. And the first one out the gate for the Nintendo 3DS eShop is Liberation Maiden. As president of New Japan, you play as the skin-tight clad lady, Shoko, and pilot a mech called Kamui, as you liberate Japan from "The Dominion", an army of machina that polluted the world, and return Japan to it's former beauty. Liberation Maiden is a free roaming Mission-based shooter, where you'll pilot using the analog stick, while aiming with the touch screen to send missiles and lasers flying. Build up enough combos to send your saber crashing into the battleground. A quick tutorial, and constant support from Shoko’s general Kira, will always lead you in the right direction and also point out bonus sub-missions. Gameplay is very fast-based, the bosses varied, and the game offers a well balanced option of difficulties, which give it a very distinct AAA game feel. While it’s hard for me to gripe about such a well made game, one factor sticks out like a soar eye: this game is unfairly short. Five stages are no where near enough to satisfy any shooter with an itchy finger, and to make matters worse, the game just ends in a middle of a cut scene after a boss fight that could’ve very well been the first boss in a different shooter. Anyone expecting at least some story arc will be disappointed for there is literally no character development to be interested in whatsoever. All we know about Shoko is in brief cut scenes where she’s blowing stuff up and the camera pointing various viewpoints of her large rump. You might argue that the game is meant for short bursts of play for beating high scores, but then what’s the excuse for them not adding an on-line leaderboard? A few obtainable achievements does not warrant constant replayability.
 
If nothing else, Liberation Maiden is a well made fast-paced shooter despite it‘s shortcomings, though it’s hard for me to recommend it for the current asking price. If you want a quick fix it’s worth the try, but don’t expect an AAA grade title. 

The Good:
+Fast paced shooter with balanced difficulty levels and controls.
+From the beautiful anime cut scenes to big butts, the game delivers some nice eye candy. 
+Great Voice Acting.

The Bad: 
-Unbearably short, with a shallow amount of bonus content.
-Stagnate characters.
-No on-line leaderboards defeats the purpose of Score Attack mode.

Liberation Maiden Review

Pokemon Black 2 Review 9.0

Score: 9.0 
Recommendation: 5/5 Stars

When Pokemon Black/White were first released, the first reaction in my hoarse throat I could utter was simply “I’ll wait for the third iteration, Pokemon Grey.” Pokemon marketing has been such an obvious cycle of repeats, it would be crazy if they didn’t release a new color. Well I was both right and wrong; not only were two new iterations released, but they’re definitely not the “Grey” game I was looking forward to - but that’s a good thing. I was expecting the same ol’ stuff, but at least a better game than what Pearl/Diamond/Platinum could provide (I’m looking at you snail-paced battles, honey trees, and Bidoof). I got that and plus much, much more than I originally hoped for in the far land of Unova. 

Black 2/White 2 are the first direct sequels to any previous game in Pokemon history. This may sound like it’s catering to veterans who played the original Black/White, but as a newcomer, I can safely say I didn’t feel left out or frequently said “huh?” through my journey, because like any and all Pokemon games it caters to every new and old fan alike, no matter the skill level. This is what made Pokemon special in the first place, and it’s the reason why the games sell in the millions, on day one no less.

These game kicks off 2 years after the first two versions, and judging by user feedback, you start at a completely new town with a new rival, and receive your starter from the previous installment’s female rival, Bianca. After that it’s no mystery what happens next: you receive Pokeballs, you catch Pokemon, you fight Gym Leaders, and stop an evil team along the way. Story-wise, that might make sense of the ‘If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it’ approach that the Pokemon games strictly follow, but after you gain incite from what happened two years ago in Black/White you can plainly see the story took a much more interesting approach story telling with it’s evil PETA-esk team of crusaders. Some turned over a new leaf, and we’re left with a few members here and there that seem like they were just tacked on to the game because it needed an evil team. Don’t get me wrong, your rival’s quest for finding his sister’s kidnapped Purrlion is somewhat interesting, but it’s hard to take the guy seriously with his pronounced spike-y Saiyan hair (I literally named him ‘Goku’).

But it’s not the story I play Pokemon for, it’s the Pokemon themselves, and man do these versions deliver on that factor alone. The Unova Pokedex has a boosted 300 Pokemon prior to the credits only. The expansion isn’t new Pokemon, but a assorted variety from previous Gens. Don’t go thinking they’re just common seen-them-a-million-times-before series troopers like Geodude and Machop though; rare Pokemon like Eevee, Riolu, Drifloon, and many more Pokemon can be found in more numbers than ever before. A new Habitat feature on your Pokedex will make the catching process even more convenient. It always tells you if there’s more Pokemon in the area, when you could find them, and presents you a sticker when you complete each area. With such a robust amount of features, weather and season changes to find different colored Pokemon each month, and hidden grottos to discover, B2/W2 will give any trainer a boost in their collecting without having to migrate/trade all those Pokemon from previous installments. Never has “catch em’ all” been so re-enforced on this scale.


Pokemon battling is just as fun as it ever was, but I’m still surprised how well the turn-based gameplay has actually improved despite being such a caveman style RPG tradition. Granted, it’s still the same battle system, but I loved how they finally reduced the length and breadth of battles and don’t force us to wait in anticipation every time we attack a Snorlax and have to wait for his HP to wittle down. B2/W2 introduced two new battle styles: Triple and Rotational Battles to break up the monotony of normal battles and to encourage more creative and strategic placement of your Pokemon. They’re a blast to play, and are the best new forms of gameplay the Pokemon games seen since double battles were introduced in Ruby/Sapphire. New battle styles aren’t the only new improvement; new attack and defensive moves are very welcome, and will definitely change competitive battles once again. Limitless reusable TM’s (Technical Machines for teaching new battle moves) are such a major improvement that I couldn’t help myself teaching a move to all my Pokemon whenever I find one, without worrying about wasting a perfectly good TM on a weak Pokemon I decide to ditch later on or constantly wasting my Pokedollars on a good TM over and over again (right, Ice Beam?). 

B2/W2 has a well rounded set of C Gear features, both single and multiplayer, to make sure you can raise those Pokemon to their peak perfection and helping other fellow trainers in the process. One of those features is the Entralink, which can accessed almost anywhere in the game, and any player can join in on the other‘s game card and help them complete the mission(s) at any time. Players will then perform certain tasks in the over world, like beating 10 martial artists or finding set berries scattered though out the world. Players are then rewarded with Orbs which can be used as a form of power currency to activate temporary abilities like finding more rare Pokemon in grass, Exp. Boosts, and repellents. Sometimes you’re even rewarded Heart Scales and other rare items just for participating. This is not only great news for new players that haven’t collected all the good items in the past Pokemon games, but it’s also a big break for vets of the series since they won’t have to transfer all those items to the new versions. In an example of how generous these games are; they literally hand you a Lucky Egg, an item that greatly boosts Exp. Points after battle, long before you step foot in the Pokemon League. 

But don’t think these games being generous will make them too easy. In fact, they’re probably the most balanced Pokemon games yet in terms of difficulty. Strong trainers are not an uncommon site, and the Gym leaders don’t go down easy. Breeder trainers are almost on every route, and they will battle you whenever you cross a different route and back then get into their sights, whether you’re ready or not (this can also be annoying sometimes). The Wild Pokemon are no pushovers either. It’s a series first to find a lot of these Pokemon at such high levels. The delicate catching process of trying to weaken a Pokemon without fainting it, is as evident here as it always is, but once their levels start climbing and you start to encounter Legendaries you’ll have to mix up your strategy by trying to keep your team healthy while trying not to faint the wild Pokemon. Players that want a harder or easier challenge are in luck (well, that is if you know another with a different version of the game) because it’s version offers a unique special “key” item after completing certain tasks. While the White 2 key unlocks Easy Mode, the Black 2 key unlocks Challenge Mode, and both keys can unlock new routes with Pokemon to catch, and change the versions’ Black City to White Forest or vice versa. Unfortunately for those hoping to play the entire storyline in Challenge or Easy Mode will have to wait until they can find another person with the respective version that already beat the Pokemon League, which almost defeats it’s own purpose. My wish for Gen 6 would definitely be an option to change the difficulty setting at will, but at least Gen 5 provides a harder/easier challenge post-game.

And you can’t mention Pokemon without multiplayer, and B2/W2 provide the best options I’ve seen yet. No more must we run to a Pokemon Centers whenever we want to battle/trade locally: you can battle/trade with anyone anywhere in the game, even when you turn on your game and realize you’re halfway through a cave. This is such a far cry from last generation’s connection features, it almost feels alien (the cute fuzzy kind that gives you cookies). Another C Gear feature is the Xtransceiver, where you can compete in goofy mini-games with your face pasted on balloons (considering you’re using a DSi or 3DS). The Pokemon Global Trading System also makes an appearance, but if anything it’s probably the biggest disappointment in both versions. It’s not the developers fault however, but the absolute ridiculous requests people are now putting up in exchange for just common Pokemon no less. I honestly could not find one fair trade that wasn’t taken in a matter of minutes. You’re better off trading with sane people you know, which the GTS proves most useful, though when trading with random people I did find it annoying how you still can’t specify alternate forms, nor can you offer more than one Pokemon at a time.

In conclusion, if anything else B2/W2 versions offer a consistent 200 plus hours of gameplay if you decide to search every nook and cranny of the Unova region and catch every Pokemon, and that’s not even counting the NationalDex, Pokemon World Tournament, Entralink missions, and a beef of Achievements to unlock. As a fan of Pokemon from the beginning, and playing almost every game in the series, I can honestly say Pokemon B2/W2 is a step in the right direction. 

Pokemon Black 2 Review 9.0

Comment issue solved

Written by pikaby

A quick site announcement. While I was doing some New Year's Eve cleaning up I found many comments, a lot of them perfectly fine ones, dumped into the spam box (including some of my own!). I've since brought them out of their misery and published them like they should be. Disqus needs to invest in more accurate spam detection.

Given, there are a few spam comments and advertisements which I will keep in the spambox for all eternity, but most of your comments on our blog posts should be visible now. It's a bit too late for me to respond to them all, so I hope you understand and I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused by this.

Comment issue solved

About us

Here's a brief rundown on how we started out and how we came to be here with our intrepid little blog and forum.

Nintendo 5-Star first started out as a Kirby fansite, called Kirby 5-Star. You know, it's Kirby, and he's always associated with stars and the like, and that's how I got its name together. It was in August 2006 that I set up Kirby 5-Star as a GameSpot.com 'union'. Unions are GameSpot's version of user groups or clubs, except with a whole section dedicated for articles and a forum to boot, all for free.

About 3 and a half years into running Kirby 5-Star, our moderator, toadster101, was banned from the site. If you want to know more about the ban you can ask him. I'm not responsible for it *wink*. Anyway, because of this we had to move out of Gamespot to keep in touch with him. At the same time Kirby 5-Star wasn't doing so well and we decided to expand our operations outside Gamespot.

Destiny Guy set us into a Sparklit hosted forum, which we also named Kirby 5-Star. Therefore the legacy of us as a Kirby fan site continued here. But development of Kirby games grinded to a halt after the release of Kirby Super Star Ultra for the DS, with the long-rumored Kirby Wii nowhere near release, and Kirby fan sites all over the internet were running dry. We were also hard hit and activity was near zero. Think of it like The Great Depression of gaming. Nothing new, nothing to discuss, everyone dead.

So we moved again, on September 2009, to our current forum on InvisionFree, and widened our focus to all things Nintendo and not just the pink puffball. And our current name, Nintendo 5-Star was born.

To head over to our forums, click here! We're looking for members and we hope you can join in as one of us!

About us